Child grooming can take years and often begins with the family, expert warns

“We are still preaching stranger danger,” she said, despite grooming and sexual abuse often involving people already known and trusted by families.

The manipulation could also leave a child believing they had willingly participated in what happened.

“The aim of grooming is to cross boundaries, to blur boundaries, to manipulate the child into thinking that they also consent to this, that they also want this.”

Because of this, the child’s understanding of boundaries could be distorted, and the secrecy, guilt and manipulation could make telling someone about the abuse even more difficult.

Predators may use gifts or attention to meet an unmet need, including targeting a child who is lonely or vulnerable.

Sexual material could later be introduced to gradually desensitise the child and normalise sexual behaviour, explained Marais.

” I think it’s important to note that the grooming does not always start with sexual grooming.”

Only when they feel like they have gained the trust of the child will they start testing sexual boundaries, said Marais.

For parents, prevention should begin with age-appropriate education about bodies, consent and boundaries.

She also said parents and children should learn to recognise patterns of behaviour.

“We want to help children to see those patterns and identify the patterns.”