Dancing gloves and golden goodbyes

Dancing gloves, a military-style spade handover at a burial site, “living” funerals and a stand-up comic undertaker are some of the novel ways South Africans are burying loved ones.

A video of Pyramid Group Funerals employees passing a gold spade in a military-style handover until it reaches the gravesite went viral in Pretoria at the weekend.

@pyramid.funerals #pretoriatiktok #fypシ゚viral #fyp #pta #soweto ♬ original sound – Bongani Sibiya

Gentle Maxopani, owner of the funeral home, said the video trended because it showed the lighter side of how they help families deal with death.

The company, which is also known as “The Glove Boys” — staff stick their gloved hands out of the hearse window and rhythmically move them to music as they escort a coffin to a burial site — says the practices are meant to create an environment in which families can “easily accept the departure of their loved ones”.

“It is not meant to make a mockery of death but to distract them a little and allow them to mourn with ease,” said Maxopani.

“They should be able to say, ‘Did you see that, Auntie, how they sent you off?’ We all know that death is hard, and it is our business to provide care for the families, which is why we also go to see them a week after the funeral and take them flowers or groceries.”

Pyramid, which offers free services for stillborn babies, has one price package for clients, which includes the gold-painted spade routine.

Fern Funerals boss Sheldon Solomon (SUPPLIED) “Putting soil on a coffin and lowering it into the ground is one of the toughest times during the funeral, and the spade ritual is just one way we make it a little easier.”

Sheldon Solomon, who runs Fern Funerals in Cape Town with his brother and is also known as “Funeral Boss” on TikTok, says he uses the platform to help grieving families.

His unusual posts have gained millions of followers. They include showing himself being lowered into the ground, calling for professional mourners, and receiving hundreds of mourners, including some who jump into a hole and roll around crying.

I can tell you from experience that while grieving is formal and serious, a little bit of humour makes people feel comfortable—  Sheldon Solomon, Fern Funerals

“This is my way of educating, empowering and exposing the public about scams and what realistically to expect in the funeral business. There are dozens of fly-by-night companies who claim to be legitimate and collect monthly premiums, but where’s the mortuary, underwriters, etc? When it’s crunch time, people find out the hard way.

“We celebrated 30 years in the business this month, and I can tell you from experience that while grieving is formal and serious, a little bit of humour makes people feel comfortable. I use humour to grab people’s attention and tell them what they need to know, and from our point of view it helps the grieving process.”

Solomon says a funeral is not something you can redo and there is no room for error.

“We customise funerals because we realise this is their only chance, and it’s important to give them what they want to say farewell to a loved one.”

A personalised coffin for a person who loved posting and watching TikTok videos. (FERN FUNERALS) Personalisation is something the Sonja Smith Elite Funeral Group in Gauteng prides itself on as a unique offering. The boutique funeral parlour offers evening, themed and even “living” funerals.

Founder and MD Sonja Smith said: “Evening funerals offer families an alternative to the traditional weekday morning service and can make attendance easier for working relatives and friends. More importantly, the evening setting lends itself beautifully to a warmer, more intimate and reflective farewell.”

She says an evening funeral can incorporate soft lighting, candles or lanterns, fairy lights, illuminated photographs, floral arrangements, meaningful music and an outdoor candle-lighting or guard-of-honour moment.

An evening funeral is an alternative to the traditional morning service, offering a warmer, more intimate and reflective farewell, according to Sonja Smith of the Sonja Smith Funeral Group. (SSFG) “It can also feel less institutional and more like a gathering of family and friends. There is a move away from rigid, standardised services towards funerals reflecting the person’s personality, interests, profession, music, hobbies and story.”

She says “living” funerals remain niche rather than a mainstream South African trend.

“But it fits beautifully with the wider movement towards personalisation: a terminally ill person participates in a gathering where friends and family can share tributes, music, photographs and memories while the person is still there to hear them.”

Smith said personalised funerals could include a favourite fragrance, flowers from the person’s garden, their recipes served afterwards, a display of meaningful possessions, recorded family stories, or a funeral built around a theme such as gardening, bowls, farming, music or travel.

A personalised coffin decorated with art, messages and pain medication as a final farewell to a loved one. (SSFG) The company’s CEO, Michael Blain, said one personalised funeral stood out because of how the family engaged with the process by customising the coffin.

“They used paint, artwork and, most memorably, glued the remaining pain medication to the side of the coffin before cremation. This symbolised the end of suffering and no further need for pain management.”

Actor and politician Bruce Gounder had to remove a video of himself being resurrected at a KwaZulu-Natal cemetery. (SUPPLIED) However, death is no laughing matter for actor and politician Bruce Gounder, whose video of himself being resurrected from a grave in Scottburgh on the KwaZulu-Natal south coast didn’t go as planned.

Gounder, who has appeared in several local films and is a DA candidate in Ugu, says he thought he would make an artistic statement that would grab people’s attention by showing that local government was not dead, and he could help resurrect services if they voted for him in the upcoming local government elections.

“Unfortunately some people were freaked out by the cemetery, and the video had to come down,” he said. “However, that’s because people don’t like to think about death and cemeteries, and they didn’t understand the important message.”